What kind of people are those who form a healthy and peaceful world?

The answer would be the resilient people. Who are the resilient people then? The resilient people are those people who have the ability:











How to raise a resilient child?
Raising resilient children requires a particular process of parenting to help children develop a specific mindset. The mindset is one of high self-worth, self-competence, and a sense of hopefulness. This mindset is likely to translate into action where children are able to utilize productive coping strategies when faced with problems, to have effective interpersonal skills, and to be able to ask for help when they need it. These children can distinguish between issues over which they have power to control versus those where they would waste their energy on futile ground. To raise emotionally healthy, resilient children, parents themselves need to have a certain mindset. That is, these parents must be empathic, effective communicator, attentive listener, and able to change "negative scripts." In addition, such parents must love their children in ways that help them feel special and appreciated, accept them for who they are, help them to set realistic expectations and goals, help them experience success by identifying and reinforcing their "islands of competence," and help them recognize that mistakes are experiences from which to learn. Additionally, these parents must help their children develop a sense of responsibility, compassion, and a social conscience. To do this, parents must teach their children to solve problems and make decisions, and parents must discipline their children in a way that produces self-discipline and a sense of self-worth.

Characteristics of the parenting process described above for raising resilient children parallel conclusions reached in parental acceptance-rejection theory (PARTheory). More specifically, PARTheory focuses on the warmth dimension of parenting i.e., on parental acceptance and rejection. The concept of parental acceptance refers to the perception of parental warmth, affection, or love, whereas parental rejection refers to the perceived absence or withdrawal of these behaviors. The term 'parent' is defined in PARTheory as any person who has a more-or-less long term primary care-giving responsibility for a child. Such persons may be biological or adoptive parents, older siblings, grandparents, other relatives, or even non-kinspersons. Based on a huge body of cross-cultural research PARTheory postulates that parents everywhere express their love (acceptance) or it's opposite (rejection) in four main ways, namely by being warm and affectionate, by being indifferent and neglectful, by being hostile and aggressive, and by rejecting their children in an "undifferentiated" way. It is also stated in the theory that all children require parental love and acceptance for optimal development. Thus, according to PAR Theory, children's psychological adjustment is closely linked to perceived parental acceptance or rejection. Beyond this, according to PAR Theory's personality sub theory, perceived parental rejection is likely to be pan culturally associated with a specific cluster of personality dispositions, including anger, dependence or defensive independence, emotional unresponsiveness, impaired self-esteem, impaired self-adequacy, emotional instability, and negative worldview-among others. Several hundred studies internationally have shown that individuals' psychological adjustment tends to be significantly affected by the amount of perceived parental warmth or lack of it-regardless of cultural, racial, gender, economic, ethnic, and other such differences. Moreover, youth and adults who perceive themselves to be rejected appear to be more disposed than accepted persons to develop behavior problems and conduct disorders, to become depressed or have depressed affect, and to become involved in drug and alcohol abuse. Beyond this, empirical studies internationally suggest that:

As much as 26% of the variability of children's psychological adjustment can be accounted for by the degree to which children perceive themselves to be accepted or rejected by their parents. In addition, as much as 21% of the variability in adults' psychological adjustment can be explained by childhood experiences of caregiver acceptance-rejection.

Today the importance of the acceptance phenomena as described in PARTheory and elsewhere has come to encompass all relationships across the lifespan. For example, when we look at teacher-student interaction and resiliency, researchers say that:

schools build resilience in students through creating an environment of caring and personal relationships. The foundation of this relationship begins with educators who have a resiliency building attitude. Teachers who model the resilient behaviors they desire from their students are often called "turnaround teachers": They are those who provide and model three protective factors that buffer risk and enable positive
development by meeting youth's basic needs for safety, love and belonging, respect, power and accomplishment, and learning. The three factors are: 1) Caring relationships, 2) positive and high expectations, and 3) opportunities to participate and contribute.

Thus, raising resilient children requires particular processes of parenting and schooling. The number one system among Key Integrative Social Systems (KISS) is the family. This is followed by the school system. Ineffective KISS institutions i.e., poor parenting and poor schooling are likely to lead to the use of corrective institutions such as psychiatric help, or to lead to involvement with legal institutions. This not only reduces the person's quality of life, but also places economic, social, and psychological burdens on society as a whole.

PARTheory's coping subtheory argues that some rejected individuals display significantly more adaptive, healthy behavior than most other rejected individuals. These people are called "copers." According to the subtheory the coping process should be viewed from a multivariate perspective. That is, rejected individuals should be viewed in the context of self, other, and situational factors-and in the context of interactions among these factors. Other researchers presented a perspective similar to this. Specifically, they argued that interactive processes among self, family, and community factors-and their transformations-result in a different story for each individual. Specific consequences emerge only as a result of the interaction of biological and environmental factors, as well as risk and protective factors. Another central point in PAR Theory is its emphasis on the fact that mental representations are unique for each individual, thus providing differential strengths and weaknesses for people ostensibly in the same or similar contexts. More specifically, it is said in coping sub theory, that rejected persons who have a well differentiated sense of self, a sense of self-determination, and the capacity to depersonalize can generally deal more effectively with the adversity of rejection than can individuals who do not have these cognitive capabilities. This argument is exactly how the occurrence of highly resilient individuals in the midst of adversity is also explained by resiliency investigators. These scientists talk about the environment of the mind. They claim that all so called objective experiences are filtered in a unique way by each individual. This filtering brings about a different reality for each individual. Finally not only parental acceptance as defined in PAR Theory, but all forms of perceived acceptance in significant relationships is a major determining factor for promoting healthy psychological adjustment and resilience among children, youth, and adults, worldwide.

Conclusion:
Academicians, Educators, and Education Policy Makers should come forward to advise the government to allocate more economic and human resources on raising resilient children in order to develop a productive and peaceful Sonar Bangla.




To deal more effectively with stress and pressure, to cope with everyday challenges, to bounce back from disappointments, adversity, and trauma, to develop clear and realistic goals, to solve problems, to relate comfortably with others, and to treat oneself and others with respect. Families, teachers, and other child socializers are the main agents in raising resilient children.
Vision for how you live
Keynote
International Psychological Conference on  People and the Environment
Keynote Speech by
Professor Dr. Muhammad Raushan Ali
Quality Of  Education
Muhammad Nazmul Haq
To Create Better Minds
Professor Dr. Muhammad Raushan Ali

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Acceptance: The Essence of Peace, the Foundation of Resilience
Muhammad Kamal Uddin, PhD (Japan)
Associate Professor
Department of Psychology
University of Dhaka
Happiness
Muhammad Kamal Uddin, PhD (Japan)
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Monday, April 09, 2012

The Bangladesh Journal of Psychology (the official Journal of the BPA)